The Ultimate Coffee Personality Test: Which Brew Are You?

Ever wanted to know which coffee reflects your inner self? Then you've come to the right place.

This is not your average personality test, no talk of airy-fairy astrology or spirit animals.

Just beans, water, pressure, and vibes. Consider this the most caffeinated form of self-awareness.

Whether you swear by a strong espresso or can’t function without your morning coffee, this is your chance to discover what your favorite brew says about you. And who knows, you might even learn something useful along the way.

Let's get started on the coffee craze!

1. Coffee Wrong

You're the laid-back type. Everything is at ease. Chances are you'll say things like "just chilling" without a trace of irony.

Koffie verkeerd is just a fancy way of saying half milk, half filter coffee. It's soft, familiar, and feels like a warm hug in a mug.

If this is your go-to order, you're probably the kind of person who curls up on the couch with a blanket and watches the same old romcom every year as soon as the weather turns cold.

Chaos isn't your thing, and that's perfectly fine. The world needs places of rest too.

2. Espresso

You are sharp, quick and have little patience for small talk.

Espresso is for people on a mission. One sip and you’re ready to tackle your inbox.

Your friends may call you intense, but they call you when something really needs to be taken care of.

And if espresso is your thing, you've probably googled how crema works. Maybe more than once.

3. Americano

You are classic, but with a twist. The Americano is actually the cool cousin of the espresso.

You like simplicity, but with some breathing space.

You are probably down-to-earth, practical, and have a keen sense of sarcasm.

Chances are you're the one at work who makes lists and actually completes them.

4. Cappuccino

You are balanced. Cheerful. A real crowd pleaser.

You like a little foam, but you're not looking for a foam party.

As a cappuccino drinker, you are probably socially inclined, but only after your first cup.

In the Netherlands, cappuccino is often ordered after 10am by rebels who ignore the Italian rule of “no milk after breakfast.” You can only have respect for that.

5. Flat White

You are stylish, but without frills. The flat white is the minimalist among coffees.

A silky texture, microfoam and a double espresso as a base, just the way you like it: quality over quantity.

You probably know what a concept store looks like on the inside, but you don't have to be a snob to like nice things. You just know what you like, and that's sleek, soft and well-set.

6. Cortado

You are a modest perfectionist.

A cortado is an espresso with a little warm milk. No fuss, no foam, just precision. If this is your choice, you like things done quietly perfectly.

Chances are you own at least one mechanical pencil. Or two. And they're always sharp.

7. Iced Coffee

You're chill. Literally. Or at least you want people to think so.

Even during the Dutch winter, you stand there with an iced coffee as if it were part of your identity.

You’re probably creative, a little quirky, and guaranteed to have a playlist titled “vibes only.” Heat is for tea. You choose ice cubes and attitude.

8. Ristretto

You are a thinker, maybe even a little intense.

A ristretto is an ultra-short espresso: more powerful, more concentrated, more pure. It says: "I don't have time for nonsense, and I want my taste just like my truth, strong and undiluted."

If this is your choice, you are probably also someone who enjoys reading ingredient lists.

9. Filter coffee

You love tradition.

Filter coffee is the backbone of the Dutch household. If this is your go-to, you value simplicity and good conversation.

And cookies? You don't take that lightly. It's stroopwafel or nothing.

According to Koffietcacao Magazine , filter coffee has made a comeback, thanks to specialty brewers and baristas who have elevated it to a true art form.

10. Latte Macchiato

You like a bit of a show.

Latte macchiato is all about the layers, foam, coffee, everything in its place.

If this is your favorite, you're probably the type who enjoys pretty Instagram stories and neatly folded towels. You're also that one friend who knows everyone's birthday, and actually sends a card. Class.

11. Doppio (Double Espresso)

You have stamina.

Doppio drinkers don’t do things halfway. This is espresso taken to the 11th level. If you’re a doppio drinker, you’ve probably pulled an all-nighter at least once this year, either for work or a video game (we won’t judge). And yes, you’ve definitely searched for “best burr grinder under 200.”

12. Lungo

You like to stretch things out, conversations, plans, and coffee.

A lungo is a long drawn espresso. Not quite filter, not quite espresso. If this is your brew, you like nuance and can easily accept a little bitterness. You are probably someone with a lot of patience. Or at least you try.

13. Decaf

You're either very wise or recovering from your sixth cup of the day.

Decaf drinkers know their limits. They've probably experienced caffeine jitters at some point and thought, "This far and no further."

You have respect for your nervous system, and that deserves applause. Or maybe you just like the taste but not the rush. Either way, you are at peace with yourself. And that is beautiful.

14. Espresso Macchiato

You're Tommy Cash!

Frequently Asked Questions

What is the most popular coffee in the Netherlands?

Filter coffee remains the favorite in most households. In cafes, cappuccinos and other espresso variations are popular.

According to the Dutch Coffee and Tea Association, the average Dutch person drinks about four cups of coffee a day.

Is coffee verkeerd the same as a latte?

Not quite. Caffe verkeerd is usually filter coffee with the same amount of milk, while a latte is made with espresso and steamed milk. The taste and strength vary considerably.

Can I drink coffee after dinner in the Netherlands?

It depends on how sensitive you are to caffeine, but it is definitely possible!

Drinking coffee with or after dessert is very common in the Netherlands.

What is the mildest tasting coffee type?

The flat white and the cortado are often considered the smoothest options, thanks to their fine milk foam and balanced espresso base.

Is decaf really caffeine free?

No, not quite. There are usually 2-5 mg of caffeine per cup. Enough for your grandma, but probably not enough to get you through your Monday morning.

What is the difference between a cappuccino and a latte macchiato?

A cappuccino is equal parts espresso, hot milk and foam. A latte macchiato has much more milk and is all about texture and layers, with the coffee added last.

Can you make good coffee at home without expensive equipment?

Absolutely. A good bean grinder, fresh beans and a bit of patience will get you a long way. Brewing methods like the V60 or Aeropress will give you quality close to your favourite coffee shop without breaking the bank.

Conclusion

Your favorite coffee often reveals more about your personality than you might expect.

Whether you swear by a strong ristretto or prefer to curl up with a mild coffee verkeerd, there is always a cup that suits your rhythm, feeling and way of life.

Remember: coffee isn't about luxury or show.

It's about those first minutes of the day when coffee makes you human again.

So the next time you order, ask yourself: is this just coffee… or does it say something about who you are?